At the Gay Summoning Ceremony, Anthony walked up to the center of the penis-shaped circle. The Head Gay muttered a prayer to the Great Gay Gods, Oscar Wilde, Freddy Mercury, etcetera - Anthony's new name shall be

Antonio Fon Fabrulous was a manly man. Six feet tall, a full beard, a deep voice, chocolate pools in his eyes. He had a tan, shiny complexion, rippling muscles, glistening skin.

"Fuck you in the ass with something hard and sandpapery," shouted the Head Gay and all the surrounding gays cheered in unison.

Then, they all went club hopping in downtown Miami, listening to musical albums from the 1930s.

Suddenly, a mermaid lept out of the third story window, into the car and started singing about Under the Sea, The gay men were flabbergasted, however once they calmed down, they decided to let the mermaid come along.

The mermaid introduced herself as Abigail, and begged to learn the life stories and ancient rituals of the Gay Tribe.

The Gay Tribe adopted Abigail, and kept her in a fishbowl in their fabulous living room complete with bright pink shag rug, zebra-striped furniture, and sex harnesses.